I was thinking about the No Kings Protest event, and questioning whether it was worth it or not. There are so many things that are continuing to happen and there doesn’t seem a slowing down. Why bother contacting our leaders in Congress? They are going to do whatever they want to do anyway. I sat with this, mulling it over, asking myself, what is below all of this? I knew I was just looking at the surface.
I started looking at the energy and channeling to learn more of what was the message.
When I learned as a young child to not speak up, I let others make decisions for me. Sometimes speaking up was not safe and so I swallowed my frustration. The day of my wedding, I had such a sore throat I thought I had strep, but I didn’t. I realized many years later, I was silencing myself and was starting on a journey of ten years being out of alignment of who I am. When working in primarily conservative businesses, I didn’t speak up, I simply went along. It felt too dangerous to say anything. Each time I did this, I chose to be silent, I lost how to speak up when I had an opinion and felt very alone.
Oh, I was angry, and wanted to speak up, I wanted to share my voice but it felt like all I would do was yell and get very upset, possibly even start crying. That was not the way I wanted the interaction with others to go. Finding the balance of feeling confident to have a conversation and not go into my trauma of anger frustration to rage.
I also found my body trying to keep me quiet. It would start exhibiting anxiety and nauseous stomach. Most recently, I had a very interesting body reaction. I had posted an unsettling video from the Cities on my FB page and a person commented on it. I decided to interact with them. As the interaction started, I was immediately triggered and could feel my body begin to react. We continued to communicate via messenger and as things got a little heated, my body began to shake. My entire internal body was shaking. I talked out loud to my body, letting it know it was safe, that I could stop interacting at any time. I actually told myself police officers weren’t coming and that I wasn’t going to be apprehended when I go to my car tomorrow. That really surprised me. Where did that thinking come from?
As things came to a close on the interaction, things subsided and we left accepting each had a different viewpoint. Over the next couple of days, I kept wondering what that was all about with my body’s reaction. A couple of ideas came to mind.
The empathy for those individuals that have been abducted and how scary that must be. I also know this is not my first lifetime of being a healer. I have had these experiences before of needing to hide, not let anyone know except for a select few of what it is I do. I’ve had “flashbacks” of being taken. I know this is the first time it’s ever been this safe to be a healer, to no longer have to hide and be afraid. The DNA that is carried through in lifetimes remembers though.
What does all of this have to do with the No Kings event and writing to congress? What we each are encouraged to do, is to wake up our voice, our minds, our alignment of who we truly are. We get to state, out loud, we no longer accept the programming to be silent, we no longer will allow another to control us, that we have a sovereign voice and we are going to use it.
I am also reminded of the “good girl” programming. Be a good girl, sit and be quiet. Don’t take up so much space, get smaller. Focus on dieting, taking care of others, the image you have, do what you are told, be of service. It’s not just females; males are affected also. What about the “locker room” talk, and the males that go along even though they don’t want to. They would like to speak up, but the blowback would be too great. I saw a commercial the other day, this man was losing his hair and he stopped playing basketball with his friends because he didn’t want to be made fun of. The male that learned to silence himself to keep the peace.
This is not easy, there are hundreds possibly thousands of years of being told to be silent, or else you will be tortured, locked up, exiled, or even unalived. Each time we speak up, we break through this heavy blanket of silence. We open up more internal light, more alignment of ourselves, learning to speak our truth. Each of us have our own truth and believe it or not, each of these truths align with each other. There is no need to be “like everyone else”, that energy is dissolving.
I am continuing to work on dissolving the ways that keep me from being all that I am. What am I? I am a consciousness, a multi-dimensional being having a human experience. I choose to explore what it is to be connected to all that is and be the deep peace that I have available within me. This is a journey and I am learning to enjoy and be whimsical as I explore and experience, even if I white knuckle it sometimes along the way!
