I’m struggling today, I’ve had thoughts throughout the week of what to write but nothing has resonated strong enough to actually pull together.
So, I’m going to meander, come along with me won’t you?
The other day, a client (with her permission I share this) had a sort of epiphany regarding how much she’d been giving of herself including time, energy and such. It was a visual of giving blood every time she gave, and the realization that if she continued to give without taking time to rest and receive, she would eventually be empty and unable to truly live. In a sense, her inner self would cease to exist.
Many of us have been taught that in order to show love we have to give. We tell ourselves, that giving makes us feel good. While it’s true, you can feel good when you give, however, if all you are doing is giving you get out of balance. Have you ever noticed that when you are in that space of giving that you sometimes can get resentful, angry, and feel hurt? Sometimes even feel like you are taken for granted?
Guess what? You created that ugly beast all by yourself. UGH! Right? When we teach people that we don’t need to receive we are not allowing ourselves an opportunity to connect. You may feel the need to be in control and that is why you give all the time, it takes vulnerability to receive.
Here is a suggestion, try giving in smaller doses and also being selective on who and what you give. How would you view giving if you literally could see the pieces of yourself you are giving away?
One of the things I’ve noticed through the years is that many of us have a hard time with self-love. Opening our heart center for ourselves. That can feel selfish at times, especially if we are giving to others on a regular basis. This week, I encourage you to explore what self-love looks like to you.
Another little tidbit, being nice. There’s this irritation that I have had about being nice. Oh, I’m not talking about having a hard time being nice, it’s more of situations that I don’t feel like I can speak up because I will come across as someone that is mean or angry. I don’t want to come across that way.
Growing up, especially being a girl, I was told to be nice, play nice, say nice things, respond nicely. It felt like I couldn’t be myself as I had to stuff my thoughts and feelings to be nice. It feels like my voice is being taken away from me and I feel like I can’t have boundaries because, I have to be nice. In talking with my therapist, she suggested, what about being kind. Oh my, that was a light bulb moment! I can be kind and still speak my truth. I can have boundaries and be kind. This felt so expansive to me. I wonder if you feel the same way?
Thank you for coming along on this meandering path of simple thoughts. Until next week, remember to breathe, move that stagnant energy, look for the positives happening to you, around you and in you and most of all shine your light and shine it bright! I’ll shine mine and connect with yours and we’ll light up this world with uplifting light filled and love filled energy!
