Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines trust as 1a :assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.

I find myself testing the trust I have in Spirit. Do you have challenges in trusting God? When you read things that say, let go, let God, what are your instinctive thoughts and reactions? Do you think, I’ll trust a little bit but all of it? Well, let’s not get carried away. Do you think, I need to keep control somehow!

I had a client today that is learning to trust more and more. She used to feel the need to try and control so much in her life. She would find herself in conflict though in trying to control so many things that were literally out of her control.

I remember being in my 20’s trying to control pretty much everything. The way I looked when I would go out in public; from my make-up, hair and clothing to the way that I would speak. I wanted to project that everything was ideal for me, that life was great. In my 30’s I kept trying to control everything and I found it to be so exhausting. I found myself having to let go of certain beliefs and ways that I thought things should be. I tried to keep my home as clean and tidy as I’d grown up in and I was overwhelmed all the time. I literally had to tell myself that I was still an okay Mom and person by not having everything in order.

This need to control brought me a lot of angst and discord. I found myself wound so tight most of the time that I would snap at people if they asked me a question the wrong way. Of course, I was the one that made the judgement of whether they asked the way I wanted them to. All of this controlling behavior was not in alignment with my authentic self.

It has taken me many years of self-reflection, of really seeing my belief system for what it was and that I had and have the ability to be whatever it is I choose to be. I have choices. I get to choose, each day, to let go and trust that this life that I’m living is exactly the way it is supposed to be. Those items that present themselves to me, I get to choose how I react. I do not need to control things anymore, I get to allow the flow of life to happen. I have found that when I allow the flow to happen life is so much better. I get to experience all the wonderful things that are happening and even those things that would have normally derailed me, they are merely a bump in the road and I move on.

It is this trust in a higher power that has resonated so strong in me my entire life. This higher power is deeper and richer in my life and I am filled with gratitude for learning to trust. I still test it though. I wonder at times if I will always be this way or if there will be a point in my life that I get all in, the 101% of trust. Oh, I have moments of the 101%, and those moments are becoming longer. I will continue to strive towards it though, because, I have learned, when I trust, the magic happens, my life unfolds in ways I never could have imagined. I learned recently when asking Spirit for something, add “or better”, so that our limited thinking as humans can be raised to a level that we truly get to experience things that weren’t even in our awareness.

Where are you at in your trusting? What is your awareness level of trusting that something is bigger at play here on earth than what we can see with our eyes? Where are you at in your life learning to trust?