I have six different bird feeders on my deck, and this morning, while sitting in my comfy chair, looking through the patio door, I see a grackle alight on the suet nugget feeder. I immediately am irritated as I don’t like grackles. Which leads me to stop and ask, why don’t I like grackles? I don’t like grackles because my mother didn’t like grackles. Hmm, interesting.
In my childhood home, we had a bird feeder that was mounted by the kitchen window. You could sit next to the window and literally watch the birds crack the birdseed and eat. It was fascinating, and I spent a fair amount of time just observing. When the grackles would show up, my mother would tell me to scare them away, knock on the window, or yell. So, I did, and then I took on her disdain for the bird. I did look up information about grackles, and they can be destructive and such, but does that quantify as needing to not like them?
Back to the bird feeder scenario. Squirrels love black birdseed, and that is what my mother fed the beloved birds. The squirrel (maybe more than one) would climb the side of the house or however it was able to get to the feeder and sit and eat and gorge itself on the birdseed. My mother really despised the squirrels. She would open the window just slightly and put a yardstick in the slot. When the squirrel would show up, the squirrel would get whacked with the yardstick to try and get it to stop coming. There were a few times I whacked the squirrel, and there is nothing like the sensation of the yardstick coming in contact with the squirrel. It gives me the willies to this day. So, with this experience, I, too, took on a disdain for squirrels. How dare these animals infringe on the lovely birds and what was being offered ONLY to the birds and not to others that were deemed destructive or not worthy?
You may be asking yourself, what in the world Heidi does this have to do with loyalty and beliefs? Well, I was thinking, can I let go of the belief that I don’t like grackles or squirrels? What about my loyalty to my mother? What if I stop the belief? What if I accept grackles and squirrels as simply animals of nature and their contribution to the whole? If I let go of the belief, what happens to the loyalty to my mother?
I realized how much my beliefs are affected by others. Oh, how complicated and how simple beliefs are! What’s interesting, when I asked myself about my loyalty to my mother, it’s like I received a quiet whisper that said, loyalty to my mother has nothing to do with beliefs of hers or anyone else’s.
So, I release the belief that I don’t like grackles or squirrels. I open myself to see them in a new light and a new way. I begin to heal the fear of squirrels and ask for forgiveness to the squirrels that I “hit” trying to scare them away so many years ago.
OH MY GAWD…as I am writing this I look out the window and there is a hummingbird at the feeder!! Squirrel moment! Oh, how I chuckle at the timing!
So, how many beliefs do you have that you took on from others? Question every single one of them, one bite at a time. What are YOUR beliefs on religion, politics, family, communication, relationships, friendships, and most importantly, beliefs about yourself?
This is shadow work. Those areas of our lives (beliefs) that we usually keep in the shadow because we are unaware, ashamed, uncomfortable, and/or scared to look at. I have found, every single time, when I am doing my own shadow work, that I feel lighter, more expanded, and insightful because I release, let go and allow myself to grow deeper within. Are you ready to do the same?
