The decision to attend the Meditation and Yoga Immersion Retreat in February 2017 was a rather simple one to make. My daughter suggested it to me the beginning of January. It was being held around her birthday and in Colorado. What a perfect opportunity to step away, connect with my daughter and renew myself.
Flying to Denver I landed early in the morning. My daughter picked me up and we headed shortly thereafter to the retreat. We checked in and settled into each of our clean and simple rooms.
After enjoying a vegan supper and meeting a few of the other six attendees we headed to the temple. The introduction to the large statue deities and the leaders of the Soshoni center was very informative. The young man that led this first session was knowledgable about the retreat center and the large deity statues that were at the front of the temple. He took us through the steps of how to find our seat. He explained that there is a way our bodies can find the perfect position to be able to sit for long periods of time and encouraged us to move the pillows and supports around until we found that sweet spot. We then meditated for thirty minutes or so.
I need to interject a little bit of where I was at on my mental, health and spiritual journey. I knew at the time of signing up for the retreat that this was going to be a transformational time for me. I knew that my spiritual life would be forever changed. With getting my business started, establishing a brand, communication and such I had basically been working every day in some capacity since the beginning of September. I felt like I was approaching burn out. I continue to learn how to be connected to my body more. I do a fair amount of energy work, during the energy work sessions I feel great, it is actually quite uplifting. What happens though is the body can’t always keep up with all the energy movement, especially if I am not feeding it adequately. I also believe that my body started to get ready to release a bunch of gunk (layman terms for no longer needed energy, beliefs, etc.). So, prior to leaving Sioux Falls on that Thursday, I came down with a flu/cold. A low grade temperature, aches, headache, sinus congestion, chest congestion, overall feeling very lethargic.
On Friday morning, we were experiencing a large wind storm, with up to 40 mph wind gusts. I was thankful it wasn’t snowing. The wind woke up everyone at some point in the night and thus no one slept all that well.
Meditation begins at 5:30 am at the Temple or the Fire Ceremony. It was explained the early time is to be able to connect with the earth before the hum of the day begins. A chanting session is first and then anyone wanting to join at 6:30 am will have silent meditation. I attended the silent meditation.
That first morning, the wind had blown out the electricity and so just a couple of buildings were connected to the generator. The temple wasn’t one of them.
When I walked into the temple it was dimly lit with candles and a couple of flashlight lamps. It was like walking into a cocoon with beautiful energy. I found “my seat” quickly and settled into a thirty minute meditation.
During the night before, we learned about all the deity statues. The one I connected with the most was Ganesh. I learned Ganesh (also spelled Ganesa or Ganesha and known as Ganapati, Vinayaka and Pillaiyar) is the Lord of Good Fortune who provides prosperity, fortune and success. He is the Lord of Beginnings and the Remover of Obstacles of both material and spiritual kinds. Interestingly, he also places obstacles in the path of those who need to be checked.
I closed my eyes and started to focus on my breathing. Feeling the energy in the temple, allowing my thoughts to float by, opening myself to whatever I was there to learn and also to let go of. Towards the end (I didn’t realize this at the time) I felt compelled to open my eyes and they wandered over to where the Ganesh statue was. This statue is easily well over seven feet tall and very big around. In the semi lit room I instantly felt a connection. In my mind, I asked, please help me to remove the obstacles that keep me from living my full life. What I heard in return, you are granted your wish, all you had to do was ask. With that the tears began to flow and they trailed down my cheeks. I felt such relief and love. Shortly after the chime sounded indicating the thirty minutes was up I tried to slow the flow of tears with no luck. They continued to flow down my cheeks. I went to put my boots on to leave and the tears then started to subside. I knew then, I had experienced a huge shift in my being.
Because of not feeling well, I chose to not attend any yoga sessions. Sioux Falls elevation is around 1,700 and Rollinsville is at 8,500. I was also challenged with altitude sickness.
I took care of myself though and spent time back in my room sleeping, reading and journaling.
Another meditation session was chanting. During this session we chanted Om Gam Ganapatay Namah. The group of ten of us chanted it for thirty minutes. When we stopped and sat in the silence the vibration of the chant entered so deeply into my being. I could actually feel it settling in me. Previously I hadn’t been comfortable out loud chanting. I had done in my head, I now understood the power of chanting out loud, especially in a group setting.
On Saturday, I still wasn’t feeling as well as I’d hoped. In fact, I was surprised how crappy I still felt. I think it was more the altitude sickness than anything though. So, I was learning to allow myself to realize that I was attending all that I was meant to, even though there was a part of me that was feeling angst over not being able to attend all the classes.
At the mid-morning silent meditation in the temple I had another break through. I sat on the pillow and got comfortable, closed my eyes and opened myself to the messages I was to receive. I had my legs crossed and my hands cupped in my lap. During the forty-five minute meditation my thoughts would come and go. At one point, I felt the nudge to put my open palms up on each of my knees. During that time I felt this warmth in the center of each palm, a warmth of energy. It wasn’t swirling or anything, just a warmth that deepened but never getting hot. As this continued, I felt compelled to lift my hands up mid-way to the sky. The sense continued to be strong. I asked, what is this message? What is this all about? What I felt was that my gift to heal was being strengthened and solidified. It was a confirmation that I am living my purpose. It was amazing.
On Sunday morning, I felt very weak and nauseous. I didn’t realize it at the time but I was experiencing altitude sickness. My daughter brought me breakfast and I forced myself to take a couple of bites of scrambled eggs, a bite of grits and a half a piece of toast. It was determined I hadn’t been drinking enough water. So, I drank over 48 ounces of water within two hours. I was feeling oh so much better!
I went to the Ma Shrine by myself. I wanted to feel and experience the female energy. This small temple held one large statue and a variety of smaller ones. I chose to burn the lavender incense I had just purchased. This smell has now permeated my senses and whenever I smell it I am immediately taken back to that moment. I sat in quiet meditation for over thirty minutes in gratitude. The realization of the power of the female energy and what that means to me.
Here are some observations. Being where we were, I had no access to Internet or phone. My cell phone would have worked to dial 911 but otherwise I was removed from multi-media (the retreat itself has Internet, etc). I found a peace which normally doesn’t happen. Removing myself from all the electrical charges and the energies of a city I found that my body could relax. I wasn’t needing to react to the variety of energies that my body normally is sensitive to. I didn’t have the “buzz” going on. I found myself not hungry in-between meals. I didn’t get that anxiety food need that I have many times in my day to day life. I felt like I could truly be all that I am and share my experiences of Reiki, healing and insight of life. Acceptance is what it was.
I also realized while there that I had a limiting belief and wasn’t even aware of it! On Saturday I still wasn’t feeling all that well and found myself feeling depressed because I wasn’t able to bounce back and attend everything. I was thinking, oh no, I’m not getting all that I should be getting out of this retreat. Someone at lunch time made the statement that I could come back another time when I was well. That was like a BIG AH-HA moment. I had been in the limiting belief that this was a one time attending event. That literally shifted me into a more allowing, positive energy. I felt it! I plan to go back when I am healthy to attend all the yoga and meditation sessions.
What did I learn overall by attending this retreat? How important it is for me to meditate. To sit in quiet and just allow myself to connect with the Universe. By plugging in to Spirit I found myself grounded and a feeling of safety and connection. I felt at peace. I meditate on a daily basis in some capacity, however, the longest I’ve meditated is around 30 minutes. I found that by meditating up to 45 minutes I was able to take my meditation practice to a deeper level. A level I wasn’t aware of. I’m not always able to meditate for that amount of time, but even five minutes makes a difference for me.
I also am definitely shifting into a higher vibration. What does that mean? There is a peace that I have in my entire being. I feel lighter and have received comments that I look happier and more joyful. Things that in the past would have affected me are a mere blip in my awareness. I am able to release things quicker. I am forever changed and for that, I am fill with gratitude!
