I remember watching the Ed Sullivan show and being enthralled with the man that spun the plates. Oh how I wanted to watch him be able to spin all the plates at once and say “ta da”! How often in my adult life I have referred to spinning the plates and trying so hard to not let them wobble let alone fall down and break.
Ever feel like you are losing the battle of balancing the plates and watching some if not many fall and break? How many plates are you trying to spin at the same time? Do you NEED to have all of them? Maybe look at a couple of them and decide, hey, I can ask for help and not even have to be involved in the spinning.
My daughter turns 29 today (2.08) and we were talking about her childhood. Being a single parent, working full time and trying to climb the corporate ladder to make more income, she had to be alone and independent at a VERY young age. When she was sharing her thoughts and experiences, I was reminded of my years growing up being alone, even though my mother stayed at home and I had four older siblings. There is a big enough age difference with my siblings that I am almost like an only child. Oh, I had friends and opportunities to be around others but overall, I remember being alone and doing things by myself.
One of the drawbacks of doing things by myself and learning this self-reliance is that I did not learn how to lean on others. I did not learn to ask for help easily. What I did learn was to be as independent as possible, take care of as much as possible and when I get to the end of my rope to THEN ask for help. Well, what I’ve learned is that most people don’t understand that I am at the end of my rope and so they do not understand the intensity of my request.
What I learned in talking with my daughter is that this trait has been handed down to her. With each of us aware now, we each get to decide how to better deal with stress, the need to ask for help, how empowering it can be to ask for help, understand that when one realizes there is a need, to ask for help right away rather than waiting until the end of the rope is fraying and about to break. This will be a process for each of us.
I had a recent situation of a flat tire. While waiting for the tow truck to arrive I thought of a couple of people right away that I could contact to see if they could come help me. I contacted them but they were not in town or too far away. I posted on Facebook a couple of pictures just to simply share what was happening. There were a couple of people that commented asking if help was coming and if I needed anything. I was taken aback. It felt like Spirit was reminding me that I am NOT alone, that I can ask for help in simple ways and people are ready and willing to step in and help me. My heart grew a bit more in this realization.
So, how many plates do you have currently spinning in your life? How many are necessary? How many can be set down and let go? How many can be handed off to others? What if, instead of trying to balance everything, you aimed for being steady? Steady the plates that are yours, the necessary ones and reassess the other ones that are spinning or wobbling. Can you ask for help? Maybe the first person you ask says no, then ask another person, don’t give up. Sometimes we need to let go of what is to allow what can be into our lives.
