Heidi’s Happiness
Maybe happiness is this: not feeling like you should be elsewhere,
doing something else, being someone else.
Isaac Asimov
Quite a few years ago I was in a talk therapy session and the therapist asked me if I loved myself. I looked at her dumbfounded. I didn’t know how to answer. I’d hated or disliked myself for so long and believed so much of what had been said to me through the years. I also have a strong ego that was more than happy to “tell” me all the things that were wrong with me. My social anxiety at times was over the roof.
It was during that period of time I decided I would learn about loving myself. I took time to read books, from Journey to the Heart to Dear God, How Can I Finally Love Myself. I really started to look at those things that I hated about myself, and gently, ever so gently, started to let go of those beliefs.
The limiting beliefs of not being enough. Not a good enough mother, female, employee, daughter, human. The belief, if people only knew the truth of my crazy thinking. The conversations I would have with people and later on lament of how I should have said something different or just kept my mouth shut. The way I looked, my body, my hair, the clothes of just not being enough.
This process of discovery was like holding a new born bird. Being so gentle with it, loving it for the sheer joy of watching it grow and become all it is meant to be.
Crying and releasing the grief as the growth of my heart began to expand. Learning and allowing a new belief pattern to emerge. Realizing this body that my soul resides in provides me so many opportunities to experience this life! Learning the majority of people are so caught up in their own trials and tribulations they don’t have time to even pay attention about the things I thought they were.
Learning, when I judge someone else that it’s really me judging myself and limiting my growth and opportunities. If someone else judges me, it is their limiting belief in THEIR LIFE that is holding them back.
My heart has expanded in numerous ways in the last year. The vision I get at times is from the movie How the Grinch Stole Christmas. You know the part, where the Grinch’s heart began to expand and grow. I can literally feel in the area of my heart an expansion of love. The love I feel for myself is continuing to grow each time I stand in my light, each time I ask for what I want, whether it be from a person or from the Universe. This love that I have inside is overflowing and because of this, I can give pure authentic love to others.
What ways can you learn to love yourself? Are you ready to feel and experience all the Universe is ready to give to you? Can you comprehend on some level that you are worthy of this love? Unconditional love is being given to you all the time, all you need to do is allow it to enter your being.
